Quick version:

👶 Rufus Noel Facey
🧷 boy
⏰ 10:30pm
📅03/03/2020
⚖ 3.02 kgs
📏 50 cms
♓ Pisces
🍉39.5 wks
🍼Spontaneous 18hr labour (No drugs wahhhh)

Long version for those interested:

In the 2 weeks leading up to the due date, I had some high blood pressure readings. This meant going from low-risk midwife clinic appoints to hospital observations every 2 days (one day we were in for 8 hours), booked date of induction, and therefore a lot of extra pressure to get this baby out.

This was a hard mental game, do we try get a few more days to try naturally but put bub and myself under potential risk?

I also found out I was Group B strep positive and was shattered this meant I couldn't labour at home if my waters broke.

The date was tentatively booked for 4th March at 3pm (today), and although we could back out, we did 2 weeks of every natural labour tips:
• Walking every day
• Drinking raspberry leaf tea
• Bouncing on the fitness ball
• Expressing colostrum (fantastic practice)
• Chiropractor adjustment (highly recommend if you are stiff and sore)
• Massage with Clary sage
• Blake spiking my food with chillies
• Acupuncture (amazingly relaxing and helpful)

On the weekend, I purchased the Baby Come Out hypno track and Monday had acupuncture. I had a lot of last minutes fear building up and these help me to get my head calm and positive again. Monday my blood pressure was normal, so I was going to come the day of my induction, and negotiate if that if they were still normal, I didn't want to be induced. I called everyone to get them to get off my back, and stop sending me messages asking if baby has arrived (while lovely, became another overwhelming factor). Ah, peace at last...

.....that next morning, Tuesday 3rd at 4am I woke with period-like cramps and asked my husband to get me a heat pack. I had a bath soon after, had on Surge of the Sea, and stronger cramps that ran up my back and down my thighs. My waters hadn't broken and my mucous plug hadn't shown up, so I kept thinking ' this can't be labour..can it?'

I put my husband to work early with some massages, but didn't like to be touches at all during surges. I also struggled to be standing or sitting on the ball as my surges actually ran down my legs so intensely that I had to lie on my side. But I distinctly remember looking into Blake's eyes and feeling absolutely no fear.

I had a bit of a snooze around 10am and when I woke there was no mistaking I was in labour. I couldn't flop with the back and leg pain surges, the TENS didn't help me, and I started becoming vocal. So we started the surge timer and called the parents to be on standby.

The parents dramatically turned up at the hospital at midday movie-style and were surprise that we were still home. I stayed at home until 6pm, having baths, using the heat pack, listening to Tranquil Chambers on repeat... my husband's mum is a midwife and was trying to make me walk around the house slowly ( later found out she didn't think I was that far along). I was so incredibly happy that I was able to experience early labour with just my husband and my bed and the cat... and then it felt right to move to the hospital.

I walked into hospital at 7pm, felt ill and spewed shortly after, and the force of spewing actually released my mucous plug(!) so I had a quick shower. The midwives commented "we usually send 'first-timers' home, but lets check you" and I was 7cm dilated!!

My waters were still a bit intact so they released them. Baby had done a poop so they were prepped in case he was distressed but I only focussed on myself. I had plenty of rest time between surges but as they were hurting my thighs the only place I felt comfortable was on my side lying down. I kept saying to my husband, I just want gas and then an epidural. Well... no time for that.. I had strong pressure on my bum to push and at 10:30pm baby was here!

I was very loud near the end and worried I nearly crushed Blake's fingers but the midwives couldn't believe it and kept complimenting me. I told them I was sorry for being loud, and they said that when they told me to 'push' I had really understood how to do that in the effective way so they were impressed.

I needed an episiotomy, and have a tear on my rectum.. maybe because he was quick to enter the world, I was feeling tense at that stage, his hand was up near his head or my positioning on my back, but really I didn't care. I was in utter disbelief when he came out. I had done it! We had done it!

The midwives and students were incredible. They spoke to me at length about why I teared, the decisions they made about why they cut me (I had started to bleed even before he was crowning as i was still tight) and even said 'I hope this doesn't stop you from coming back to have more babies!'. Even though they didn't get a chance to read my birth preferences (most of my labour items didn't make it out of the bag) they asked before everything and we did immediate skin to skin, delayed cord clamping, Blake cut the cord, dim lights the entire time, and they all spoke really quietly. And I continue to use my calm breathing while I recover in hospital now.

I hope this helps (please feel free to ask me any questions) and a huge spectacular thank you to Rosie and this class. I know I was only able to have my calm, confident, and positive birth with becoming educated and practicing all the exercises in this course. I had you all in the back of my mind hoping to do you proud.
​
And all I can say now is...

You've got this. 

Ingrid and Blake and Rufus xxx 

Henry’s perspective
​
The day Thomas was born was a very busy day. After weeks of turning up at work to the disappointing looks of my female colleagues who were eagerly anticipating Thomas’ birth I decided that I would take leave from Wednesday regardless of whether Amy had gone into labour. So Wednesday morning I took the boys to the toy library where I volunteer once a month. We did our shift from 10-12 and came home for lunch. Amy had said she was having irregular contractions but didn’t think things were moving too quickly. After lunch the boys and I went to the supermarket to do the weekly shop. It was a hot day and I’d promised the boys I’d take them to the pool after we’d done the shopping. By the time I’d put all the shopping away it was after 4 o’clock and Amy had been timing her contractions that were now at about 10min intervals. I was starting to get anxious and worried I hadn’t been supporting Amy much at all. Nonetheless after getting assurances from Amy, the boys and I headed to the pool for a quick swim at about 5 o’clock. We were home by 6 and I gave the boys dinner and a bath. 


I’d hardly seen Amy all day, let alone given her any support. Thankfully at about this time Amy’s sister Jacqui arrived to look after the boys. This gave me a chance to focus on Amy. She’d written a bit of a wish list and I was able to get a few things that were on it such as light a candle and put a few gardenias in a vase on her bedside table. There was a Swiss ball and a blanket on the floor in the bedroom but Amy seemed most comfortable lying on her side in bed. The boys came into the bedroom after their baths and were their usual boisterous selves. Quite oblivious to the calm atmosphere we were trying to create in the bedroom. It was also so different to Amy’s labour with Jack which happened later at night, lying on the floor in front of the warm glow of the open fire on a cold October evening.
 
The contractions were closer to 7 minutes apart and seemed to be quite painful and tiring for Amy. I thought we weren’t far off needing to leave for hospital but I hadn’t put the last items in the hospital bag that Amy had packed. Thankfully another of Amy’s lists meant I pulled those things together without needing to think too much. It was almost 8pm and the contractions were closer to five minutes apart so we decided it was time to head to the hospital. I called ahead to let them know we were coming. Amy had called earlier in the day so they were expecting us. The boys had only just finished bedtime stories with Jacqui so they all came outside to wave us off which was a strange experience. Thinking we were leaving as a family of four and would return as a family of five. 


The short drive to the hospital in Jacqui’s Mazda bubble was uneventful apart from a couple more contractions for Amy. We arrived at the hospital but despite calling ahead had to wait what seemed like an eternity before being led to our birthing suite. Poor Amy was kneeling on the floor with her head on a waiting room chair because the contractions were so strong she was unable to stand and too uncomfortable to sit. It felt like my first test to be Amy’s advocate and be assertive but I was unable to get access to our room more quickly. By the time I found the first midwife we’d seen on our arrival again to ask what the hold up was, our midwife from the birthing rooms was ushering Amy through to our room.


Once in, Amy took up her earlier position on the bed on her side. The midwife wanted to put the monitor on her belly for 20 minutes to get a reading on how the baby was doing. This restricted the positions that Amy could get into and after less than 10 minutes we asked if it could be taken off. Thankfully the baby was doing ok and the midwife was comfortable taking Amy off the machine.
 
Poor Amy was really struggling to get through the contractions and I felt fairly useless in providing any comfort. At some stage the midwife asked Amy if she wanted her to do an internal examination which Amy agreed to. The midwife said Amy was about 5cm dilated. I think Amy and I were both hoping it was going to be more than that and probably reacted negatively. I tried to stay positive by saying that the first 5cm is much harder than the second but I didn’t feel very convincing. I was thinking about a rule of thumb I’d heard that it takes about an hour a centimetre and I couldn’t imagine Amy having to go through another 5 hours of this pain. But I was annoyed at myself for not reacting more positively and not doing a better job at keeping Amy’s spirit up. I was also thinking how quickly Amy had had Jack after we’d arrived at the hospital and that this time wasn’t going to be the same. It felt much more like Archie’s labour and memories of watching Amy suffer came back and the thoughts I had that Archie’s birth would be the last time I would put Amy through that pain. But here we were again for our third!


Those two previous experiences did mean I was able to find the sick bags in time. Amy stayed in much the same position on her side on the bed. Apart from the sick bags, the only things I could do was offer Amy water, a wet washer and hold her hand. It was very quiet in the room and the midwife had more or less left us to it. I think at about 9.30pm, the obstetrician arrived. She was very calm and quite different to her chatty manner she has at appointments. She put the monitor on the baby and asked how Amy was doing. She didn’t seem to stay in the room long. I can’t remember if she did an internal examination. Then not too much later Amy said she was feeling pressure in her bottom. So I found the obstetrician outside the room and told her this. To which she responded to the midwife that she thinks we are about to have a baby. 


Unlike the previous two labours, this stage seemed more an extension of the labour rather than the relief and surge of energy that Amy seemed to get when pushing Archie and Jack out. Amy was still on her side and I was given the job of holding her leg. That made me feel somewhat useful. At first I wasn’t sure if Amy was ready to start pushing but then she started and then the obstetrician took over instructing her when to breathe through a contraction rather than push and when to push. And it wasn’t too long before Thomas came sliding out. I had a brief moment of disappointment that he wasn’t a girl but that was quickly replaced by the realisation that here was a new life lying helpless but fully formed on Amy’s tummy and that we’d created him. ​