Getting pregnant after what felt like an eternity of struggle with infertility, was so very surreal.
I look back now and can hardly remember it. It went way too fast. Such a blur. It never felt real, and to be honest it still can’t believe I am actually a mum?!?
But that can be for another story...
My Belly Birth
Being an older pregnant woman wasn’t easy. There was way too much interference. nothing would get past the doctors and carers looking after me.
If I was 10 years younger, I would have absolutely had a homebirth with a private midwife.
I had a lot of idealistic dreams when it came to giving birth. Especially as it was such a long journey of infertility and IVF is such an unnatural way of conceiving. I just wanted to at least be able to give birth to my baby vaginally/naturally.
By 36 weeks the docs were not letting anything go unnoticed. She was still breech and not budging.
I tried everything to get her to turn!!! 37 weeks and little miss wasn’t going to bloody flip.
I knew then what was coming.
A caesar birth was booked in for two weeks time.
I surrendered to the universe and to my baby, that she was calling the shots, and had to give up my fight.
I broke down that night and grieved the birth, that I would never get to have.
Especially that this will be our one and only bubba.
I had done all the right things in the lead up to this moment too.
Ate extremely well, walked daily, acupuncture & hypnobirth classes.
So I revised my birth plan to a caesar birth & listed all my preferences, so I could give my little bubba the best start to life I could. And I still had a faint bit of hope, that in that two weeks, my baby would turn...
More acupuncture, Moxa, inversion stretches, even a wonderful private hypnosis, one on one for spinning babies...
But D day came, ever so quickly, and I was a numb ball of anxious, excited and shitting myself mess!
One thing reassuring in this whole process, was my beautiful midwife and birth support Rosie!
Somehow she wrangled her way into the surgery room with us. And for this, I will be forever grateful!!!
I didn't cope well at all through the whole process. I'm just such a sook and hate Hospitals, (due to too many traumatic operations as a child). And I suffer from a major needle phobia, (yep even after 6 years of IVF!) so you can imagine my joy with a crowbar drip shoved in my hand, then them trying to put the spinal in!!!!!
Well we got there and we finally got our little angel out safe.
I did nearly check out mid-way through, it was so full on and went from feeling pain, to numb, feeling like my entire guts was being pulled out, nausea, then headaches from all the drugs.
Sorry I hope this isn't turning anyone off the idea?!
I never got that euphoric moment when I got to push my babe into this world, but hey I got my babe, and that's all that matters in the end.
I have heard some women that loved there caesars and that's the only way they would go. Hats off to them, and all you beautiful mummas out there! You all did something amazing!!
I was truly so blessed to have Rosie right behind me the whole time, talking me through it and encouraging me to keep going. Thanks to her too, we got to do things like seeding and delayed cord clamping. Not to mention the most amazing photos of the whole process. Huge thank you Rosie, you're one in a million.
We got our little breechy bum out in one piece after a bit of interference, they were going to have to take her away, for respiratory assistance.
All I wanted was skin to skin, and Rosie helped them let me do this.
Amazingly as soon as she was on me, all her vital signs returned to normal. And there was no way I was going to part with her from that moment on. She stayed on my chest for hours, we were stuck together with her first poo and I didn't care one bit.
I had my baby, safe, well and absolutely perfect.
My little miracle
Cleo Honey Elderfield
Weighing just over 3kgs.
Rosie Fitzclarence is a Registered Midwife, Registered Nurse, Childbirth Educator (Geelong Born) and a Hypnobirthing Australia™ Certified Practitioner.
Rosie is based in Geelong and can be contacted by email at firstname.lastname@example.org or phone 0419170783.
To find out more about her Hypnobirthing Australia™ classes CLICK HERE or about Geelong Born Birth Support options CLICK HERE