I had the pleasure of getting know Carly and Ben when they attended my Birth Prep private classes back in July. They chose to do this over four sessions at Bump & Bub Health Hub. In addition to this they also attended our Movement, Mindset and Making Space workshop in Torquay. They had a wonderful birth and have kindly shared their story.
Congratulations Carly and Ben and welcome little Harry!! - Rosie x
I can’t tell you how many times I have started drafting an email to you to let you know how wonderfully labour went and how amazing motherhood has been so far!
Harry Darcy Faulkhead came 3 weeks early on Tuesday the 7th of August. I was unsure if I was in labour and walked the dogs along the beach in the morning with a cramp every now and then, after that I went to the library and the supermarket! Haha! I called the hospital about 12pm and they said it was most likely braxton hicks, I thought the same. But by about 5pm I was bouncing on the medicine ball happy as Larry knowing that I was having contractions for sure and a baby was on the way!! Ben cooked a yummy dinner and I wasn’t in pain at all, it was all just excitement.
At 8pm contractions were about 20 mins apart, aromatherapy oils were going and we were still calm and happy. We used a lot of the positions we learnt in the workshop, especially on the medicine ball to get somewhat comfortable. I didn’t think it was going to be such a happy time. At 9.30pm Ben called the hospital contractions were about 7 mins apart. We went to the hospital and everything sped up quickly contractions were about 2/3 mins apart by the time we got to the hospital. We thought we were going to have a car park baby for a while there!!
Our midwives were nothing short of amazing. They read my birth plan and within about 2 mins the room was set up with a mat on the ground and a ball for me to use, my oils were on and it’s was a completely calm space. I had some back pain so we tried the water injections which worked immediately, Ben also used the pressure points we learnt which also worked a treat. There was no shouting, screaming or swearing the whole experience was very calm, beautiful and empowering. Just like you said it could be!
After a few pushes at 10.43pm Harry came into the world and the last 15 weeks have been the absolute best of our lives. It probably helps that he is a great sleeper, only waking once around 3am until he was 4 weeks old and has since slept through the night 10.30pm ish until 7am. We are very lucky and touch wood that doesn’t change! We have a great new parents group, go to baby sensory classes and mum and bubs pilates. Harry loves to be out and about and is such a charmer, full of smiles.
Ben and I both preach about you and the Geelong Born workshops to anyone we know having a baby. I truly believe we had such an amazing experience because of the invaluable lessons we learnt. We cannot thank you enough.
Below are some photos of Harry, lots of photos haha!
Hope all is well on your end.
Carly (Ben and Harry)
My name is Rosie Fitzclarence and I am a Registered Midwife, Registered Nurse, Childbirth Educator (Geelong Born) and a Hypnobirthing Australia Certified Practitioner.
I am based in Geelong and can be contacted by email at firstname.lastname@example.org or phone 0419170783.
To find out more about my Birth Preparation private classes CLICK HERE
Or to join the next Movement, Mindset and Making Space Workshop CLICK HERE
Wed 31st May: Our last day at home before we become parents…. Forever. The feeling that our lives are about to change in a way that we can only imagine. James finishing our birth plan, printing my affirmations, last minute cleaning and packing. Me making my birthing goddess necklace, feeling my women friends and family, generations of them holding me. Farmor’s ring on my finger, my maternal grandmother's watch ready for my birthing alter; the heavy, fossil crystal from Kate, affirmations and crystals from Manjit, photos and letters…my holding circle was solid. Feeling strong, a bubbling mix of anxiety and excitement. The unknown…. Knowing that anything could go down, and feeling ready for whatever cards Mama deals me. There’s nothing more we could do now; no need to paint the cot, what we were about to do was way bigger than that. It’s time, I’m ready… let's do this thing, our baby is coming!!
Left the house, had one last acupuncture in Newtown- open cervix, down baby… we’re ready; we can do it. Lunch on pako; James and I feeling relaxed; aligned, ready. Stopped at Kates for a little yoga pep talk circle with her and Ari; last minute reminders for both James and I…a beautiful Shakti mantra sung by Kate; energetic high fives; headed to the hospital with so much juice in our tanks, armed with all of the physical and energetic tools we could muster. Got to our room; checks, monitor on Marley’s heart rate; always makes me anxious- Marley not moving much… noticing my heart beat faster and breath become shallow, but knowing, trusting we are in the right place. Rosie arrives; beautiful breath of fresh air and smiling positivity… All is well. So many midwives and doctors breezing in and out. Almost time for the balloon; I need to poo! This could be my last chance! Rosie bought me 15 mins, left the room so I could relax enough to relinquish my bowels; success. Lay down, doctors arrive; lay back, legs in stirrups, don’t know how many people peering down my most intimate entry point with bright lights shining down on her; about to become a birthing canal for the first time. Me surrendering to the process; this is our choice, we are doing this for the safety of our baby. But severing any feeling association I may have developed to my cervix; I cant feel this… I’ll just be strong and make jokes about it… I’ll look the doctors in the eye; I’m not scared. Any pain is part of my marination for the birth. I got this. James by my side, sure and strong, steady and present, as always at these times.
……continued… from memory
They are ready to poke and prod; I ask them to wait, till I give them permission to enter with their cold, sterile tools. Deep breath, ok; now you may enter. Doing my best to hold onto my empowerment, my dignity. They check my cervix, 1cm dilated already, impressive, all that acupuncture must have worked! Now for the balloon…It’s cold, it’s mildly painful, they inflate the balloon with water, I’m not really present. Just squeezing James’ hand. They remove the tools, tell me I did such a good job, like a good girl I suppose… toughened up, didn’t make a sound, didn’t make a fuss. They offer pain medication, I don’t need it.. Rosie gives a final embrace, her big smile and advice to get a good nights sleep, take the pain medication if you need it.. you need sleep! James stays with me, we talk, I sway, still monitoring the heart rate; They want to know the balloon isn’t effecting the baby. We eat some dinner (?).. James says goodbye. It’s just me, on a plastic coated bed, with the painful moans of birthing women next door to put me to sleep. I put my headphones in, music usually helps. The bed is cold and uncomfortable, the pain is getting worse; I can't sleep, it’s nearing midnight and I still haven’t slept… Rosie’s words help me to surrender to the pain medication, sleep is a priority; they bring me something and I drift into a deep sleep, only to be woken at 6am to be told I need to get the IV cannula in my arm… hmm, ok, I’m too sleepy and submissive to protest. It goes in at 6.15am. The room is freezing cold and I’m shivering. James hasn’t arrived yet and a young female doctor walks in and tells me we need to start the induction drip before 8am, and it’s time to break my waters. I don’t want to birth in this room, it doesn’t feel right, and it’s so cold, there’s no way I can relax. It’s already moving too fast for me, this doctor is pushing the fear card…. ‘we need to get this moving, your baby is at risk if we wait too long’… I let her speak but I did not let her fear permeate my being, James arrives. We ask to move rooms, they don’t listen, it registers of no importance compared to hospital timeframes and agendas. It’s time to break my waters.. the young female doctor gloves up and gets to business, sometime after 7am.. she takes out the balloon and checks the dilation, 4cm..apparently very impressive. And soft, my cervix is soft, so soft the doctor with spindly arms and tiny hands is doing her best to get a handle on her with the little hook and becoming increasingly frustrated; she’s using all her might, her arm starts shaking; after what felt like at least 10 mins of trying, I ask ‘does it usually take this long? ‘Your cervix is very floppy’ she replies… floppy hey? Nobody calls my cervix floppy… ‘slippery perhaps?’ I offer ‘well, I haven’t yet emptied by bladder this morning, so I could do that, and then we could try the stirrups as well’ feeling the need to interrupt the unconscious assault on my poor cervix , and buying time to avoid the doctors impatience to start the drip. I get up, wee and get in the stirrups.. ok, now, on my watch lady… you may break my waters; done. Just in time for this weak wristed doctors end of shift, what a shame.. pressure off, dodged a bullet.
We get a midwife called (Andrea/ Ange, who starts her shift in tic toc robot mode, glances at our birth plan and has no interest in finding us another room… we start chatting, she warms up…. Maybe she can find us another room, with the wireless monitors too- miraculous! We are transferred to a room on the other side, it’s bigger, warmer and lights easily dimmed- this is where our baby will be born. Yes! We make it ours; salt lamp, oil diffuser, music, yoga props, affirmations on the walls… now we’re talking. Rosie arrives… always a breath of fresh air. Andrea loves our music, we get to know about her son, a musician.. we’re warming to each other. Rosie helps to stall the drip… we wanted a few hours post membrane rupture to find our flow and get things moving; Rosie makes sure we get at least this.. I start to find my flow, drop in, on the fitball.
We’re all chatting, relaxed. Around 10am Andrea asks are you ready? Contractions haven’t started, can we begin the drip? I’m ready. It takes at least an hour before contractions start, some very mild tightenings, Andrea has a motherly hand on my belly asking if I can feel what’s showing up on the monitor- yes, just some a pleasant tightening sensations, I’m enjoying it. James opens the snacks which I was adamant were unnecessary, and I have some crackers and dip. This is fun, like our own little birthing party. The contractions begin to intensify, just a bit; Andrea finishes her shift.. feel like I’m saying goodbye to a friend. Then we get Sarah (with the help of Rosie’s behind the scenes wizardry)… and oh my, did we hit the jackpot. Sarah turns out to be like the midwife from the Red Tent… wise, experienced, strong, empowering and a passionate lover of normal birth. Thank yoouu! This is the woman who will be present to receive our baby, and ward off the fear mongering doctors.
Contractions keep intensifying, strong tightenings, my uterus working hard in response to the syntocinon… each contraction getting more painful, but I’m still on top of it, just managing to adjust to each rise in sensation, keeping my head above water, definitely intense, but manageable… needing James on my lower back doing the pressure points for every contraction now, and the heat pack, my noises are accompanying every contraction and getting louder. Fitball is good (?), then Sarah needs to do an internal- takes 3 contractions to get me on the bed. Her face says it all, I knew it wasn’t good news according to the hospital protocol checklist, but according to my body, I knew it was great news… the baby and I were doing this, and doing it well, I knew. “You’ve done some really good work, and the baby has moved down a lot” Sarah said in her encouraging, delightful British accent, “and I know the doctor said you were 4 cm dilated this morning, but now, you are only 3cm dilated”. I think she expected me to be deflated, but I felt in no way deflated.. I had a lot of juice in my tank, and I knew enough from Rhea Dempsey to know that dilation is not always a true indicator of birthing progress. I get off the bed and get back to work, staying with my body with each contraction; James there for every one. And managing to heat the heat pack and get icypoles in the interim. I have no awareness of what’s happening in the room; I’m going in.
I find myself on the toilet; drip following. Sarah comes in ‘the doctors are happy with how you’re going, but they’d like to see some really good progress in the next hour. Are you happy for me to turn the drip up?’ ‘Yep’ I’m good, I got this. Drip goes up, the next contraction king hits me. It comes from nowhere and hijacks my entire body.. the pain takes my breath, blurs my vision and bowls me into a crisis of confidence. Fuck this, no way.. I’m out, where’s the caesarean. I try the sympathy card with James and in a voice laden with defeat, I manage ‘I can't do this babe’… he gives me a huge playful grin, and with full conviction replies, ‘yes you can’. Ok, the only way is through, fuck it, the next one is coming.. get back to work. IT takes full presence to stay with each contraction, and lots of vocalising... open the vocal cords, open the cervix. The rest in between is blissful… silent, peaceful respite from the intensity.. if Farmor can do it as a tiny 19yo birthing my dad in Copenhagen, then I can do it. I felt all the mothers before me; I harnessed that power. It wasn’t long before I felt the bum, YES! Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum! In the words of Rhea Dempsey. This baby is coming; that was so encouraging it gave me a second wind, and I knew I could keep going for much longer. I spy Rosie sitting casually on the perimeter of the room “I’m pushing’ I manage to say at the end of one contraction, not that I was really pushing, but the bowel pressure was intensifying. Rosie was completely unphased… apparently thinking I had much longer to go. I’m leaning on the bed; vaguely aware of some confusion about the heart rate monitor but not caring at all (turns out my heart rate was going down to 50 something in contractions and they were amazed)… Sarah suggests I get on the bed for some rest, she lies me on my left side, it helps to open the cervix apparently. The contractions slow down a bit, I get longer in that blissful place, and the contractions are different, the uterine pain is barely there, it’s just the bowel pressure, and that is primal and totally manageable. Now they believe me, the baby is coming. I hear them getting the trays and tools ready. Rosie keeps assuring me, your body knows what to do. At no point did they tell me to push; they said they would only do that if they were concerned about the heartbeat; I feel some impatience and push anyway.. it stings. I’m rushing, I kind of know I am, but I don’t stop it. I feel this beautiful weight coming into my vagina, I talk to the baby, ‘beautiful baby’ The head is coming, James is ready to receive our baby. My noises are primal. I think it took two contractions with pushing and our baby was here.
I was very excited to receive this lovely email from Natalie and Jeremy last week. A beautiful hypnobirth of their first baby. Congratulations superstars!! - Rosie
We welcomed our little girl Heidi into the world on Wednesday morning. She is the most beautiful little thing, and we can’t take our eyes off her.
I thought I’d also let you know how my labour went. :)
I went into labour on Tuesday night waking up with just mild bleeding and cramping around 2.30am. I called the midwife and she told me to come in just for monitoring and to check out the bleeding, she was confident I wasn’t in labour yet as I must have sounded too relaxed. So I had a shower, washed my hair and took my time getting ready just in case we needed to stay.
It was all very relaxing, the surges had started to come in more frequently and by the time we drove to the hospital around 4am they were already quite frequent and I had to concentrate and breathe through them. We arrived and I was monitored for a good hour, all looked well and surges slowly increased their intensity.
I laboured for a couple more hours changing positions and listening to relaxing music, and at 7am I started to feel the urge to push. I hadn’t had an internal exam at this stage, but I wanted to know where I was at, and if the baby was coming.
Luckily, my obstetrician gave me the clear to go ahead as I was fully dilated. The pushing phase was quite tiring and definitely hard work. :)
At the end, Heidi was born at 9.57am all healthy and alert. I don’t think there’s quite a moment like when you get to see your baby for the first time.
All the pain and work you’ve just done is already forgotten. I only had a minor tear which needed some stitching, and the placenta came out naturally.
Jeremy was amazing during the entire process, he knew exactly what to do and what I needed. From supplying me with water to getting all the equipment, massaging, face washers and communicating on my behalf, he did a great job. He definitely helped me stay calm and relaxed without needing any medication.
A big part of what my labour was like is thanks to you and what we had learnt during our hypnobirthing course, so thank you!!! Incredible and powerful stuff can happen when the mind is calm and body is relaxed.
Back to cuddles now soaking up the Heidi love. <3
Natalie & Jeremy
My name is Rosie Fitzclarence and I am a Registered Midwife, Registered Nurse, Childbirth Educator (Geelong Born) and Hypnobirthing Australia Certified Practitioner.
To find out more about my Hypnobirthing Australia classes CLICK HERE
I am based in Geelong and can be contacted by email by email@example.com or phone 0419170783.
Me and Richard are just checking in to introduce you to Woody, who was born last Sunday, a week early! He’s a funny little thing and we are completely smitten with him!! We wanted to say a massive thank you to you and let you know that attending your classes was the best decision we could have made. We know for sure that our hypnobirthing tool kit made a HUGE impact on my pregnancy and labour. Here is our labour story!
My waters broke at 3am on Sunday morning and very shortly after it was game on! There was no panic, Richard was calm, I felt calm and Richard Immediately knew to put on the MP3 tracks and set up the lounge room with the exercise ball, Yoga mat, keep the lights low and get the tens machine up and going.
We called the hospital who agreed to let us stay at home and I listened to the hypnobirthing tracks and followed the breathing exercises we learnt from you. I used visualisations to imagine my cervix opening and my uterus as a big balloon being squeezed down. The surges were getting more and more intense and I was completely dependent on Richard being there and holding me through each one. He was so prepared and knew exactly what to do, his ability to keep me calm and remind me to focus on my breath was amazing. After 4 hours of breathing through surges it was time to go to the hospital.
At 7:30am we arrived at the hospital with surges being around 3 min apart. We were taken straight to a labour room.
We had asked for no CTG monitoring if possible and would prefer to have checks with a doppler. We had also asked for minimal vaginal examinations and did not particularly want to know the dilation in cm’s until full dilation. I really feel that being assertive and informed on presentation to the labour ward helped. At one point the obstetricians had been whispering to one another whilst I was in the room and I asked them to please involve me in any discussions or at least not whisper. Following this they asked me If i wanted them to leave me alone until I waited for my CMP midwife to arrive, which was helpful.
I continued to focus on my breathing and listened to the tracks, having water sprayed on my face was a life saver! The lavender aroma diffuser was quickly turned off as it made me want to vomit and the headphones didn’t last long in my ears and soon got flung off, we played the tracks on the phone instead.
Our CMP midwife arrived shortly after and she was familiar with our birth preferences. We also had a 1st year midwifery/nursing student who came along too. At this point, surges were coming on thick and fast, there was no time to think about filling a bath, getting in the shower or asking for water injections or gas. I just breathed through them getting Richard to hold me tightly from behind or leaning over the ball. There were times were I lost control and panic set in but with my team around me, being held by Richard, water being sprayed on my face, cranking the tens machine and being constantly encouraged was getting me through it. At one point I did accidentally electrocute myself with the tens by turning it up full instead of off! Richard says that your course helped him be part of the birthing team.
At 11am, 3 and a half hours after arriving at hospital, I had my first vaginal examination and I was fully dilated. I couldn’t believe it!
The next 2 and half hours of transition were a bit more... ‘intense’ ha! I initially had tried to use bearing down techniques but after little progress and the clock ticking (turns out the hospital don’t like you to push for more than 2 hours before intervening) I had to do some serious pushing. I think at this stage panic had taken over and I had lost control. The surges were intense, and I was worried about obstetricians hovering and clock watching. Had I been able to relax the bearing down breathing may have worked but it wasn’t an option for me. It took me about 30 mins or so to get the pushing technique right, getting the breathing right and knowing exactly where in my bottom to push to. My midwife really helped me with this and after 45 mins or so I was getting the hang of squatting and pushing and progress was being made although still quite slow. My babies head was only mm’s away from crowing and I had gone over the 2 hour mark. The obstetrician was in the room and forceps/ventouse was looming. My midwife was able to advocate for me, I was on the CMP program and had been meeting with the same midwives throughout my whole pregnancy. They knew we had taken Hypnobirthing classes, they knew our birth preferences and gotten to know us as a couple. My midwife believed in us and was able to advocate on my behalf and negotiate more time. I was given extra time to push, on the condition that I lay on the bed with the CTG monitor in place and a heart monitor be place on the baby’s head. Our students help and having an extra set of hands at this point was unbelievably helpful. I continued to push from the bed and progress continued.
The obstetrician asked me to put by legs in the stirrups which would help me push which I, hesitantly, agreed to. I felt that this was one step closer to intervention and I didn’t trust this request at all. However, this worked and by pushing my feet against the stirrups my babies head crowned. The obstetrician was right, this did help me with the final push.
I pushed my baby out and they placed him in my arms. Nothing prepared me for what happened next. Richard described it as someone had given me a huge bag of drugs. I had this overwhelming surge of pure euphoria, kissing and cuddling him, cracking jokes with the hospital staff, feeling no pain or even slight discomfort and being so wide awake and alert!
Woody was born at 2pm and weighed 7 pounds 6. The placenta followed naturally after around 15 mins with minimal bleeding.
The hypnobirthing classes were 100% to thank for the speedy first stage of labour. I can’t imagine what we would have done without this knowledge. Due to the classes I also went in to labour feeling strong, empowered and not afraid. I remember telling friends that I was looking forward to labour and to bring it on! This meant that I stayed relaxed and calm when my waters broke and the surges started.
I had no drugs, I had no tearing, I was alert, Woody was alert and was handed to me with his eyes wide open and cried almost instantly. I was in the best possible state to welcome my child in to the world. I’m not going to lie, the last 3-4 hours were tough, the transition stage was really bloody tough, but I got through it and I did it.
I was very close to having intervention due to the 2-hour pushing policy and, had I not been with the CMP or had there been a different obstetrician on it may very well have been forceps and episiotomy. Perhaps being assertive towards the obstetricians and being informed about my birth preferences helped too. The midwife advocating for me and getting me that extra 30mins to push made a significant difference on how my son was born into the world and my first moments as a mother.
My recovery was so minimal, no pain relief needed, no stitches, no come down from drugs, not even panadol.
My name is Rosie Fitzclarence and I am a Registered Midwife, Registered Nurse, Childbirth Educator (Geelong Born) and Hypnobirthing Australia Certified Practitioner.
I am based in Geelong and can be contacted by email by firstname.lastname@example.org or phone 0419170783.
To find out more about my Hypnobirthing Australia classes CLICK HERE
Ha I don’t even know where to start this!
So maybe I’ll just get right to the crux and chat to you about the good shit..
After a really long, mentally challenging wait for our little baby, I was induced 10 days over my due date. On Thursday 14th of June, after a week of heavy monitoring by my obstetricians and the Epworth Geelong Maternity team I was admitted and had a prostaglandin gel administered to get things going. After having lots of pre labour signs for the two weeks prior, my body was gagging to labour but was just struggling to get over the line.
After the gel was administered and Ben was sent home, I got set up in my ridiculously massive room (one of the reasons people have nicknamed it ‘Hotel Epworth’) and put on one of my Hypnobirthing affirmation meditations to send me to sleep.
Ben and I had taken on the incredibly lovely Rosie from Geelong Born as our birth support who also runs the Geelong Born Hypnobirthing Australia™ course which we were always keen to do. So over two Sundays a couple months prior we learnt all about acupressure points and how breathing would help me through the labour. Having had my fair share of health stuff over the past couple of years and been pushed to the highest levels of my pain threshold, I knew where I could go in handling pain and knew that I could either freak the fuck out and let it go to my head or I could calm the hell down and breath through it and get it done. Anyway, more on that later.
After cramping pretty heavily all night I had one more CTG at dawn to check the baby was happy, which it was and then at 8am I had my membranes ruptured by my wonderful obgyn Dr Emily Huning. After a few cracks to burst them (they weren’t going to pop anytime soon given their thickness) I felt a strange release and a big gush of fluid. We were on our way!
Contractions started immediately but were super manageable, so I bounced happily on my favourite thing ever and the thing that got me through the pregnancy- the exercise ball! Chatting easily in between contractions I was then given Syntocinon via a drip to really get things going and BANG! It was all on. The contractions immediately went from zero to hero and I was deep into it. I spent the next hour bouncing on the ball or leaning forward onto the bed riding the waves, whilst breathing in my aromatherapy and having my pre made music playlists guiding me through.
After an hour and a half of this things started getting really serious and without anyone really knowing, I went through the transition phase. If you don’t know what this is, it’s just before you start pushing but you don’t realise and you are flat out trying to pack your bags to leave the hospital because you just don’t want to do it anymore. My reaction was to demand where I was at and how dilated I was. Because the baby was so far down and engaged it was really hard to monitor and her heart rate was so relaxed the nurses still thought I had some time to go. Nope, in my usual style.. my body was in no mood to dick around and just wanted to get things done! After an hour in transition of me kneeling over the ball on the floor, my body started to naturally push and I went with it.. 20 minutes later as my husband continued to rub my lower back as my only form of pain control and with the midwives were around the front of me trying to get the babies heart rate he was astounded to so quickly see the head crowing and just as he looked up to let the nurses know, by the time he looked back down- the baby was lying on the towel covered floor!
It all happened so quickly that no one was prepared for it and the baby and my body were so ready, out came a tiny little baby girl much to everyone’s surprise! As she was handed up to me I was in total shock.. what amazingness just happened??
Had I really just given birth to this vernix covered little ball of baby, in 3 hours, naturally with no drugs?? Yes I bloody did.
I don’t say this proudly as a boastful thing, as I know so many of my friends and other mummas have had really tough labours but I say this because I was genuinely so shocked at how much I loved the experience. Especially because the whole pregnancy I had been freaking out that I was having a caesarean after a medium had told me I was!! Note to all mediums- don’t tell mums to be they are having a caesarean!!! A sure as hell way to destroy their confidence!! But I was chuffed to have proved her wrong and to have had such a wonderful labour.
And I did with the help and support of my incredible man, who calmly and reassuringly supported me the entire time and Rosie, who was so gentle in her support. It was with her experienced guidance she was able to stop me getting into a higher state and allowed me to sink into myself and go deep with my experience. As she knelt in front of me and Ben behind, these two wonders kept me calm and empowered.
And the result of those incredible 3 hours was our little baby girl Adelaide Lily O’Connor, weighing 7.2pounds (what, me.. give birth to a small baby?!) and 47cm long with big feet like her mumma!
The 6 days following that spent at the Epworth was a blur of no sleep, constant staring at this little bundle of magic we had created and overwhelm. Man, how overwhelming it all was. Especially the breastfeeding side of things!! Nothing prepared me for how hard this was going to be. Addie and I were learning together and we both had no idea what we were doing! I hadn’t done any classes on how to breastfeed, which in hindsight I kinda should of because I had NO idea how to get her to latch and she too, sucked.
We eventually got home and the past 5 weeks have been a roller coaster. It took 3 weeks for me to get the breastfeeding down and man, I have never been pushed into a dark corner so quickly as what I did trying to get through the pain and stress of it. But once we both finally got into the swing of it things started to settle and as she grows daily I see her starting to interact more, smiling & gurgling and our time together doing this makes all of it make sense. A big shout out to my two lactation consultants.. Donna at Epworth Geelong and Margie Neyland for when I was home. These two women saved me!
I’d be lying if I said this has come as naturally to me as I thought it would. I might be quite a maternal person but my independent soul has struggled with staying home all day and being her life line. But that’s ok. I realise that it's ok to feel like I've been slapped in the face by the experience. It is fucking hard!! And I’m proud that I don’t pretend that I’m mum of the year, I am going to keep it real because I love when other women portray their truth and not hide behind the perfection of life. So I’m gonna do the same!
I’ve really appreciated other mums who have reached out to check in to see how we are, particularly how I am. I guess they too understand how challenging and isolating this experience can be and women who stand strong for others when they stumble inspire me constantly. We have the power to change someone’s day so rather than beating them down with judgement or their own opinions on how something should be done, its been really lovely to see women simply offer support and a cooked dinner.
There is no one road, I’m learning that leads to success or a well raised, happy child. Everyone will find their own path and as rocky as it may be, its their path to walk. And how amazing the path I’m walking is and I cannot wait to lead Adelaide down it for a short while until she takes the reigns. I will empower her to see the world for the beauty and magnificence it has but most importantly showing her all the beauty and magnificence she holds within herself.
Hilary's birth story was first published on the Hilary Holmes Makeup blog page on August 7, 2018
Hilary's birth resources...
Rosie at Geelong Born www.geelongborn.com.au for birth support & the Hypnobirthing Australia™ course in Geelong & the Surf Coast.
Epworth Geelong Maternity https://www.epworthgeelong.org.au/our-services/maternity/
Geelong Maternity Group http://www.geelongmaternitygroup.com.au/
I woke suddenly at 4am. This was not unusual and usually required a trip to the loo. I got up, peed and waddled back to my cosy, warm bed. I was full of anxiety, which was normal throughout my pregnancy - but this time it was intense. And then I felt it. At first it was a warm trickle in my undies. I closed my legs tightly and pretended to ignore it. I couldn’t. So, I stood up to check. As I stood, water gushed everywhere; like a bucket had been thrown over me. My waters had broken. I was 35 weeks pregnant.
And so began the birth that would last over 40 hours. At first I had no contractions and the doctors at Geelong Hospital hoped bub would stay in there another 2 weeks - with me loaded up on high doses of antibiotics, of course. I hadn’t finished work (and work for myself) so I was frantically wrapping things up from my hospital bed; much to the amusement of the nurses. Laptop on my knees, tethering wifi through my phone - I must have looked a little nuts.
And then the contractions started. Oh my God. There was no more work happening now. We were on!
Back and forth I went, from the birthing suite to the shared ward, and back again (3 times in total). I broke down in tears after a night spent writhing in the hospital bed (listening to other woman birthing in rooms nearby), when the doctor said to me bluntly - you’re not in labour yet, so you’re going back upstairs. I was beginning to regret my strong views (for myself) on pain medications and the epidural. To help deal with the pain, I took the advice of my amazing birth support, Rosie. I moved constantly, squatted, had the lights off, sat on the toilet, stood in the hot shower for hours… and breathed, and breathed and breathed.
After almost two days of pre-labour and 5 hours of pushing, I was done. My contractions slowed down to every 15 minutes, and I had no energy left to push. The wonderful doctors offered help by performing an episiotomy and applying suction to bubs head. A few more pushes, using all the strength I could muster, and there he was: My beautiful boy, Banjo.
My birth plan was detailed and informed, especially on pain management; skin to skin contact; cutting the cord; and birthing the placenta naturally. But I always knew my fate was ultimately in the hands of the midwives and doctors. I was stubborn (probably too stubborn) about the pain medication, until it was too late and so I birthed by baby naturally - a vaginal birth with no pain medication (except a bit of gas). Having beautiful Rosie helped me stay strong, and guided me in decision making when I needed it. She gave constant support and advice to my mum and partner, and they all worked as a beautiful, supportive team, along with the incredibly strong, caring midwives, to bring my boy into the world.
Beautiful Rosie being part of our pregnancy and birth helped me more than I could ever imagine. She was a constant support, offering us guidance in all our decision making. If i’m ever lucky enough to give birth again, Rosie would be by my side. Her calm, caring, compassionate and understanding nature made us all feel at ease, even when I went into labour at 35 weeks! By the end we felt like Rosie was part of the family.
*Because he was premature, Banjo Ted was in the Special Care Nursery for 2 weeks after birth. The little champ started kicking goals immediately, and is now the happiest, healthiest little 8-month-old. He makes us smile every day.
Hi, my name is Rosie Fitzclarence and I am a Registered Midwife, Registered Nurse, Childbirth Educator (Geelong Born) and Hypnobirthing Australia Certified Practitioner. I am based in Geelong and can be contacted by email at email@example.com or phone 0419170783.
To find out more about Geelong Born Pregnancy, Birth and Postnatal Support CLICK HERE.
My birth story really began when I was around 20 weeks pregnant and attended our first Hypnobirthing Australia™ class at Geelong Born under the guidance of Rosie Fitzclarence. Feeling blessed we attended so early which allowed ourselves plenty of time to practice the methods that we were taught and letting it sink in how capable we as women are of birthing!
Our 'guess date' was the 26th October 2017.
On the 25th my body began showing early labouring signs, not being able to keep anything down and the infamous water breaking (which in all honesty could and did feel like a bladder control issue so I wasn't too concerned), I was just going with whatever pregnancy threw at me.
I woke on the 26th at 6am to be greeted with a show and what an exciting one it was.
Calling the hospital to confirm I was in labour at 7am, I was calmly told to come in when I could to check and see if my waters had broken. So I called my partner and he left work in Melbourne, we were in hospital by 10:30am to confirm that my waters had in fact broken and it wasn't my pregnant bladder after all.
Leaving the hospital around midday after being told I would have to be induced the following morning at 6am, I felt slightly un-empowered. I was constantly trying to remind myself that my baby will ultimately decide how he or she will enter this world.
As we walked out through the hospital doors my first surges started. Quote "Ohhh I wonder how intense these will get" (what a joke aha).
On the way home, we stopped at the supermarket to stock my partner up on snacks as I was told by numerous labouring women that hubbies get very bored in hospital. The fact that I cared how he felt while I was in labour was humorous to say the least.
Things I did when I was labouring at home.
1. Left my phone in another room to help remove myself from the awareness of time and other pointless places your brain goes whilst on it.
2. Sunbaked/walked around in our garden.
3. Had an extremely long bath listening to my birthing affirmation tracks.
4. Let my body do what it knows... bring my baby girl down to enter this world!
Something that really helped me through labouring at home was to not feel sorry for myself, the pain had a massive purpose and repeat the pain has purpose.
After my partner called the midwives every hour for the last 3 hours of labouring at home whilst timing my contractions, somewhat like the Charlie Chaplin Show as I couldn't speak during surges, we finally made the call to head into hospital around 8:40pm. "If we get there and I'm only 4cm dilated book me in for a caesarean" I calmly suggested to my partner as if that was an option. The transition period was setting in. So off we went.
The drive into hospital from home was bullsh$t thanks to the minimal legroom in my i30... moving on.
As I slowly walked through the halls of the University Hospital Geelong labouring we were greeted by spritely midwives.
We were shown to our room and I my body immediately pulled me down to my knees and I leant over the bed. I completely surrendered and let my body do what felt right.
Cue the bodies instinct to push and wowza game on! Just let go and leave that dignity at the door, after all we're all just animals, right? Right! I actually enjoyed it (sick I know), NOT that it was easy but the endorphins that came between each push was a lifeline!
After 1.5 hours in hospital our daughter was caught by her dad and came into this world all purple and red, singing!
Shock and awe. What did I just achieve?
Maxwell Violet Foley was born at 10.26pm on the 26th October, 2017.
Birthing my placenta was liberating, I feel like this isn't spoken about as much as it should be. Two babies within the hour, good lord, one miracle after another.
Recovery was okay, I'm not going to lie a few stitches and other fab things that come with labour took a while for me to accept once the adrenalin had subsided.
Special thanks to my supportive partner, switching out the CD in the hospital CD player from 'DJ Havana Brown - Crave' to 'Birth Affirmations' (there's a time and a place) and for leaving our car in the drop-off area for 3.5 hours including all snacks. Fair to say he wasn't bored, sorry babe.
To our amazing midwives at Barwon Health who were accepting of our birth preference as we were open minded with whatever needed to happen for the safe arrival of our baby but had a goal for a more natural delivery. We were so blessed to have you there to help us through the birth. Thank you.
To our gorgeous birthing photographer Jessica Henderson, being pregnant herself she managed to get to the hospital in time for my quick delivery and she came bearing snacks for post birth! LEGEND!!! Small plug *Miracle of Birth Photography*.
Moral of the story is women are f$&@ing amazing. However your little soul makes his or her way into this world know that you single handily housed, grew and nourished the hell out of it to make your baby even exist!
Now let the parenting begin...
Kirsty, Kyle and baby Maxwell
My name is Rosie Fitzclarence and I am a Registered Midwife, Registered Nurse, Childbirth Educator (Geelong Born) and Hypnobirthing Australia Certified Practitioner. I am based in Geelong and can be contacted by email by firstname.lastname@example.org or phone 0419170783.
To find out more about my Hypnobirthing Australia classes CLICK HERE
I was one of those mythical pregnant women you hear about - the ones who I didn't believe existed until I became pregnant - the ones who have breezy symptomless pregnancies. Apart from a few waves of nausea in the early weeks (nothing that a fruit tingle couldn't fix!) I pretty much got through my pregnancy 'scot-free'.
But don't start to hate me - I had my share of trials and tribulations - it was the whole getting pregnant bit that I struggled with, after 8 months of TTC I found out that I had (and still have) polycystic ovaries. Anywho with the assistance of my brilliant gynaecologist Dr Sam Sabary (the baby maker) and a god-send drug called Clomid - I became pregnant within 8 weeks of starting medication.
I arrived at my due date on Thursday the 27th of July after 30 days of nesting, beach walks, cappuccinos and countless episodes of 'One Born Every Minute' (The UK version, not the US). I was excited, eager and ready to meet my babe. I'd spent the better part of 40 weeks researching, reading and learning everything there was to learn about birth and I felt... well... ready!
I cruised into the weekend with anticipation and hope that he or she would be coming soon! I cleaned out the bathroom cupboards, the linen cupboard and made last minute dashes to Kmart for storage boxes. On Saturday morning I noticed a small fluid drop - thought nothing of it and got on with my day. That night it happened again, and then again on Sunday morning.
I called the hospital and they suggested that I come in for a quick check as my obstetrician was already in delivering, I was advised that it was probably nothing and I could go home. I started to plan where we could have brekky while we were in Geelong... that brekky never happened!
Upon being examined I was told that I was already over 4cm dilated and my labour was halfway over... (insert shocked face!), I hadn't had a single contraction! My waters were broken and I was in the delivery room faster than you can say 'yourehavingthisbabytoday'!
I had written a birth plan and was pretty open minded for my labour - however I wanted it to remain as natural as possible. My open mindedness was quickly tested when I was told I needed the drip to bring on my contractions as the pre labour rupture of membranes meant that bub could possibly have been exposed to infections. My contractions started naturally prior to the drip being administered which made me happy - I was in labour!
I used yoga breathing techniques to get through labour - I was surprised at how well breathing could get me through contractions! I remained active throughout my labour - on my feet and my knees. I can't remember exactly but the contractions remained around 1 minute apart and lasted about 30 seconds - it was a very intense and overwhelming few hours.
I knew it was almost over, with each contraction I could feel the baby pushing down lower. The contractions had gotten to their 'maximum' and were of a similar strength and length each time. I knew what to expect from each one and my mind and my husband Ryan pulled me through the last of them until our son was born.
After just over 4 and a half hours of labour we gave birth to a very healthy 8lb 12oz boy named Bass Harper Jamieson. I really did have a birthing dream team: my obstetrician Dr Sam Sabary, St John of God Hospital, Rosie Fitzclarence at Geelong Born and of course my husband Ryan.
I had requested delayed cord clamping so that our babe could have all of that beautiful nutrients returned to him before the cord was cut, so he was on my chest having a cuddle before the cord was cut at a later stage.
My placenta was collected by Earth Mama who encapsulated it and returned it to me the next morning in pill format - I'm still having these today! It's done wonders for recovery, milk supply and hormone settling!
Strangely, I look back on my labour fondly, it was such an empowering experience. It really is amazing what your body just does - it's almost as if the body acts before the mind does. I was proud of the strength of my mind and my body. Sure I had some battle scars but I have a beautiful now 4 month old boy to show for it!
Morgan, Ryan and Baby Bass
My birthing story starts 18 months prior to the arrival of our amazing little guy “William Sunny”.
On the 24th of June 2015, I delivered my first beautiful babe Amelia via a caesarean section. This experience was everything I didn’t want and plan for. I was prepared physically and mentally for a natural, drug free, unassisted birth. My husband and myself had dedicated a weekend to undertaking Calm Birth, we had worked out a birth plan and I had planned out in my head what the arrival of my first baby would look like. All of this was taken away when I went to my weekly regular check up with the Obstetrician.
At this appointment, the doctor initially expressed concerns about the size of the baby and my blood pressure was elevated. I was sent to the hospital for bloods, urine sample, blood pressure monitoring and a fetal heart scan. The fetal scan showed baby wasn’t as active they would have hoped and admitted me to hospital for bed rest. At 6pm when the doctor did his rounds, he indicated that my bloods were of concern and that he believed baby needed to come out sooner rather than later. I was 37.4 weeks. At this point my husband was not yet at the hospital and I started to panic. The doctor assessed me to see if my body for favourable to be induced, however my body was not ready. The only option was a caesarean. I was prepped for theatre; I still waiting for my husband to arrive and my anxiety was heightened. All that was running through my mind was “I’m not ready to have a baby yet, I still have a few weeks to go”, “this is not what I had planned.” At 8.20pm my baby girl was “born.” After birth the doctor diagnosed me with HELLP syndrome. A condition that is only associated to pregnancy, with little information about what causes it but can make you critically unwell very quickly.
The birth of Amelia was very traumatic for me; I mourned not having the natural birth I had wanted. I felt guilty that I could not provide my baby the best possible start in the outside world. Although I loved her, I did not bond with her immediately. At day three post birth the “three-day blues” kicked in and they did not go away. My anxiety was always heightened and everyday tasks were difficult, I had no joy in becoming a mum. I had post-natal depression. This took a long time to ease, for my emotions to become stable and life to become manageable again. About seven months later I was being to feel semi-normal again, and begun to become the mum I had hoped I would be.
A few months later I discovered I was pregnant again. This wasn’t a part of the plan. My body and cycle had not gone back to normal, so we did not think there was any chance of falling pregnant. This discovery was a huge shock. The timing was wrong. It was too soon between babies and I was about to celebrate my 30th birthday. I spent the first eight weeks emotionally eating and crying my way through first trimester nausea.
When I went to the GP to confirm I was pregnant, I decided I needed some emotional support. I was linked into an amazing Psychologist Cath Corcoran. I spent time with her working through my initial experiences, and she helped me find ways to begin to connect with my baby. Cath suggested yoga as a means of having time for baby and me. I was recommended to try yoga with Erin Mieszkowski from Womb 2 Move. From the initial conversation with Erin I knew this was what I needed. Erin listened to my story and empathized with my experience of post-natal depression and associated anxiety. During my time with Cath I decided I want to try for a vaginal birth after a caesarean (VBAC). After a chatting to Erin at yoga one night I asked her if she knew of anyone who would be suitable for birth support and was in favour of VBAC. Erin suggested Rosie Fitzclarence from Geelong Born. From the moment I spoke with Rosie I knew she was the right person to have on our team. She came out and spent time with my husband and myself. She actively listened to our hopes and desires for this birth, and her knowledge and experience was amazing. I was well supported in preparation for a success VBAC experience.
At around 37 weeks, I started to feel symptomatic of pre-eclampsia and I spent a bit of time at the hospital getting monitored. My anxiety started to heighten; I needed my body needed to make it past 37.4 weeks. Rosie’s support and reassurance during this time helped me to ask reasonable questions and logically work through my anxiety and decision-making. The hospital staff were well aware of my desire for a VBAC, and made me feel empowered and supported in working towards this. They made suggestions such as, a stretch and sweep at 38 weeks but were respectful of the decision I made which I declined. Through my work with Cath and discussions with Rosie, I knew that I needed to allow my body to spontaneously go into labour to ensure my chances of a successful VBAC. I had mentally prepared myself to get to 41-weeks, and if I didn’t go into labour I would be at peace if a caesarean was my only option.
At 39 weeks, I was feeling very, very over being pregnant and started to worry that my body wouldn’t be ready to birth my baby in time, before the hospital doctors would want to book a caesarean, Rosie continued to reassure me that my baby and body would know when the time was right. I started focusing on this. I used a mantra card that Erin had given us at yoga and played this over in my head “Just like my body knew how to grow this baby, my body knows how to birth this baby.” At my 39-week doctors appointment, I did decide to have a stretch and sweep, as it was the most natural form of intervention. However, at this appointment, the Obstetrician that completed the internal did not believe my cervix was yet favourable and suggested we try next week if I hadn’t already gone into labour. I was preparing myself for another week of being big and uncomfortable.
At 3am the next morning, I rolled over in bed to attend to my toddler, and I felt like I had wet myself… I stood up and realised my waters had broken. There was so much fluid I needed to shower. I rang Rosie immediately. She was so excited which immediately took away my fear of unknown. Rosie advised to call the hospital but encouraged me to try and rest at home for as long as possible, and to let her know when I was planning on going to the hospital. I called my mum to make her way to our place, I needed to know that my little girl was safe and happy before I could start to focus to delivering our little man.
About an hour after my waters broke, the contractions had commenced but they were very irregular. Once mum arrived I spent some time relaxing and preparing myself mentally in the bath. I played mediation music that I had heard weekly at yoga and began to focus on my breathing.
Around 9am we headed into the hospital, as I was classified as high risk, due to my previous caesarean birth and they wanted to begin monitoring me and baby closely. My contractions were very irregular and at this point the hospital did not consider me to be in labour… I was in labour… I felt every contraction, as infrequent at they were. During the initial contractions or “waves,” I focused on these waves helping to open my body and move baby down. I visualised a flower opening and focused on breathing down to baby, as Erin had taught us during yoga.
By about 11am I was taken to a room on the labour ward, Rosie helped us set up and make the room as comfortable as possible. During this time, I stayed very mobile. Walking, rocking, swaying my way around the room. We set up the TENS machine and I used it to support me during my contractions. Rosie left my husband and myself at this point, giving us some space and time together. After about an hour, my contractions were still irregular, the midwife decided to organise a room on the maternity ward for me, as no one knew how quickly I would progress. Once I went up to the maternity ward, my husband went home for while for a break, and my mum came and sat with me. At this point I was becoming tired and decided to lay down and rest. During that time my contraction went from being very irregular to 1minute on, 4 minutes off. Mum rubbed my arm and talked me through my breathing with every contraction. The intensity of the waves were increasing and it was becoming more difficult to breathe through the contractions. We waited for about an hour before calling midwife, she believed that my labour had now started and took us back to the labour ward. My husband came back and mum left.
For the next few hours I sort refuge in the shower, again we had the familiar meditation music playing, I swayed my hips between waves and used my husband as a physically support to hold me up during the contractions. After showering my husband was becoming concerned with the level of pain I was in, he wanted me to try and use “gas” to provide some relief. The midwife set it up, showed him how it was administered and left us to it. During my next contraction, he wanted me to try it however it needed to be breathed in and this was the opposite process to the breathing I had spent 9 months practicing at yoga. I couldn’t use the gas!
By 6pm Rosie had returned, the contractions were so intense I had reached the point where I’d had enough… a crisis of confidence. Rosie reassured me I was doing a great job and to continue focusing on my breathing. We decided that an internal examination would help determine the next course of action. I was 6cm dilated… I turned to Rosie and said “that means 4 more hours, I can’t do this! I need an epidural” Again she reassured me that I could and reminded me of my breathing. The pain in my back was too much to handle, and TENS machine was irritating me, so we took it off and Rosie directed my husband to massage my back.
I was still trying to stay as active as possible between contractions, swaying my hips. During the waves I was hunched over the side of the bed. I tried to visual some of the important and inspirational women in my life and their successful birthing stories. I kept reminding myself that my body knew what to do. I focused on keeping my jaw and shoulders relaxed. Erin had emphasized the importance to staying relaxed to ensure the pelvis would open up. My husband consistently told me how amazing I was doing and how proud of me he was. He played music that was familiar and of significant to us both.
The hospital midwife had been having some difficulty finding baby’s heart rate with the external monitor, as a result an internal one was required. By the time they had successfully attached the monitor and I became mobile again I felt very heavy.
Very soon after that I began to have the urge to push. During this initial pushing phase, I felt a very strong burning sensation and a little blood loss. Rosie helped me to remain focused on delivering my baby as I was so close. I used the proceeding contractions to guide me in pushing and I allowed myself to use my voice to be a strong “warrior Mumma.” After a short time of pushing, the hospital midwife requested I lay on the bed to deliver due to some blood loss appearing. It took me a while to find a position on the bed that made me feel as though I had enough power to push. Once I found that position, it was only a couple more almighty pushes, and our little man arrived into the world.
I did it! I birthed our baby, naturally, without intervention and drugs!
He was bought immediately to my chest. I had an instant connection with him. We had delayed cord clamping and my husband cut the umbilical cord when the time was right. The final stage of labour, birthing the placenta, took some time as I was really tired and the contractions were still intense. We spent time bonding with our little man. I required some repair after the birth however, my husband stayed with our little man, having skin-to-skin contact the whole time.
The birth of William was the most wonderful, painful, surreal, beautiful experiences of my life. I was very lucky to have an amazing team (Erin, Rosie and Cath) behind me and the on-going support of my husband who respected my desire to have a VBAC; because of the faith they had in me I felt empowered to birth my baby naturally.